Dear Members

"If we wish to die well, we must learn how to live well.
Hoping for a peaceful death, we must cultivate peace in our mind, and in our
way of life. "
~ The Dalai Lama.

A few weeks back I promised to give some feedback from my trip to Brazil and
although finding myself very busy in the intervening period, my conclusion
as to why I haven't delivered on that promise is - as with many life
altering experiences - it is extremely difficult to integrate them into
" normal" life. It could also be that a part of me wants to forget those
earth-shatteringly scary moments when a lifetime of values and beliefs are
taken away, to forget my face to face meeting with my dark side - manifested
as a prowling and growling beast howling at the moon - who I liked!, to
forget the poignancy of conversations with my long dead father, to forget
the moment that I realised that my search for some kind of God entity was in
vain because what I was looking for didn't exist, to forget the realisation
that what I thought I wanted to be wasn't, to forget that awful moment when
I realised that my ego and sense of self-worth dominated my view of the
world, and the dark loneliness of the nothingness that remained when
deconstructed and to forget the feeling of inevitability of a human-made,
impending environmental apocalypse. Aah I could go on regaling you with my
happy memories of that trip but as difficult, challenging, scary, painful
and humbling as it was, I feel so privileged to have done it.

The problem is, in that fierce, white-hot moment of death, danger, stillness
or clarity it's so easy to understand, resolve a new plan and be confident
of a "better" or different outcome. Take away that edge-of-the-cliff
feeling and the resolution waivers. In a way I envy those that pursue a
monastic way of life for the ongoing clarity I assume they must have, but
like many of you, I don't want that to be my life. Is it possible then, to
live in this hectic, stressful, materialistic, hedonistic, short-term
orientated and work-dominated society but still have a clear picture of
spirituality, own purpose and meaning?

Isn't it a bit like when you go on holiday - for days you are exhausted as
your body and mind (unshackled from the daily mayhem) lets you realise how
much you need some rest. Then for a few days (if you manage to leave the
laptop and cell phone at home) - you eat well, have fun, catch up on
exercise, smell the roses, rediscover the beauty that surrounds you and feel
renewed by the vigour and vitality that you so rarely experience. Just as
you start feeling human again and resolve not to take it all so seriously,
leave work early, walk on the beach, spend more time with your kids and
generally be a much nicer person - it's time to go back to work . As your
last Sunday evening of freedom drips away, you can hardly concentrate on the
movie - your stomach knots when you think about what you missed, whether you
were missed and whether you will have a new world record of incoming e-mails
waiting for you, together with a few major crises that are sure to destroy
those resolutions within 24hrs of your return to reality. Sound familiar?
By Monday evening, it's as if you never had a holiday and, if you listen to
your yoga teacher, and live in the present, you didn't have one, because
your present moment is filled with worry and stress.

Well, maybe I'm just talking about a life I used to have or (as I sit on a
plane from Jo'burg writing this), a life I am scared of falling back into.
Maybe I am using this newsletter to remind myself that I do have a choice
(if so, forgive my indulgence but then, owning a yoga studio should have
some fringe benefits!). My choice is manifested by the renewal of an
ayhuasca fuelled realisation that few things give me as much pleasure as my
morning walk on the beach and meditation on "my" rock as the sea pounds
around me - so I will choose that tomorrow. My three days of backed-up
work, demanding client and outstanding issues will have to wait and by the
time I get to deal with them I will be ready and able to with a clear mind.
Having just spent two days in meetings that should have taken a few hours I
am again slapped in the face with how much time, energy and effort we waste
on the inconsequential, leaving so little for the love, beauty and freedom
that surrounds us. Sure, there is a financial reality because it was paid
for but it is critical that we make a cognitive choice, understanding the
consequences thereof. In this instance, it will take a balance of pushing
back (the client gets less time but more value and they should be happier),
pursuing other options to cover the economic shortfall (see the ad below),
spending a little less time on the beach and keeping the freedom to change
my choice. A difficult balancing act that I haven't yet got right but I owe
it to myself to make those three weeks of terror and insecurity in Brazil
worthwhile.

The Buddha talked of the middle way - and like a pendulum oscillating from
side to side, stillness is not found by one week of meditation followed by
one week of manic materialism. In Vrkasana (Tree Pose) balance comes from
1) rooting your standing leg (i.e. being anchored to a solid foundation), 2)
creating equal opposing forces by pushing the sole of the right foot into
the inside of the left thigh (i.e. letting life's often contradictory forces
create balance rather than imbalance), 3) locking the pelvic floor by
engaging the bhanda's (i.e. have a strong internal moral centre), 4) fixing
the gaze (knowing where you're going and what the long-term plan is) and
above all else 5) focussing on an even, steady breath (i.e. being calm and
not reacting to life's many distractions).

Every day in every yoga class we stretch our muscles, relax our minds and
centre our focuses but above all we learn how to live, and if there is
indeed only one shot at this thing called life, that's quite a powerful
lesson. Our challenge, is to integrate the lessons back into life - only a
few will have an epiphany, chuck it all in and go backpacking to the
Himalayas to find themselves. On one hand I admire them for having such
courage of conviction but I am convinced that a mirror could achieve the
same with far less disruption. Wars will happen; injustice will prevail;
hunger, poverty, pain and helplessness will be with us forever but every
single breath we breathe offers a choice - not of circumstance or
environment - but rather how we respond to it.

May the peace I search for, be with you today.

With Love,
Chris and the Moksha team.

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" Remember, Yoga practice is like an obstacle race; many obstructions are
purposefully put on the way for us to pass through. They are there to make
us understand and express our own capacities. We all have that strength,
but we don't seem to know it. We seem to need to be challenged and tested
in order to understand our own capacities. In fact, that is the natural
law. If a river just flows easily, the water in the river does not express
its power. But once you put an obstacle to the flow by constructing a dam,
then you can see its strength in the form of tremendous electrical power."
~ Swami Satchidananda